In honor of the Saddam Hussein idiocy floating around the 'net...
Dear Americans,
I would like to extend a heartfelt plea to those of you considering voting for John Kerry and John Edwards.
During the time of George W. Bush's presidency, we've been able to accomplish a lot. I was responsible for killing nearly 3,000 Americans on one day. Praise Allah. In fact, my act was so outrageous, that President Bush threatened to get me dead or alive.
Then, as you know, some 6-9 months later, President Bush, when asked about me, said that he didn't think about me much anymore. It made me sad at the time, but what I failed to realize is that President Bush has been working on my side.
See, by not mentioning my name for two years, he made some incredibly forward thinking Americans (those who watch Fox News) think that I didn't have anything to do with September 11, Praise be Allah. These Americans believed that Saddam Hussein was responsible for the attack. Of course, it turns out that Saddam Hussein had no ties to this Jihad, but even when confronted with evidence that I was responsible for 9/11, and Saddam Hussein was not, many people refused to accept that reality. Its good that these people were unable to, as you put it, flip flop, when confronted with the truth. Better to dogedly hang on with stunning rigidity to false ideas than to change ones mind when confronted with evidence. Praise Allah.
But most importantly, George W. Bush and I have been working together. See, I recruit muslims for the crusade against America. The actions of George W. Bush, taken in total, have made muslims want to work for the crusade against America. We have a beautiful partnership, although it breaks my heart that he still will not say my name in public.
As you can see from the video released Friday, October 29th, I am tanned, rested, and ready to kick some more ass. Thanks for outsourcing the job to Afghan warlords. They needed the money, and I needed to get away. We all worked together, and I promise, Allah willing, we'll be in touch again soon.
Kerry and Edwards say they will find me and kill me. Bush may say that, but he's been my best invisible friend ever.
As they say in your phone book, I plan on reaching out and touching someone in a neighborhood near you soon.
Sincerely,
Osama bin Laden
Chairman, "Terrorists for Bush '04"
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